Gypsy Love Warrior felt right when I first began it a year ago, but it has grown out of that name and into something new. The Sacred Middle. In the next few days you'll be able to find GLW at www.thesacredmiddle.com

There will be some changes to the website too. A little here, a little there. The pieces will fall into place as I grow and stretch my wings. I hope to offer all of you dear readers a lot more in the coming months. All of these changes and offerings will be focused on the sacred middle, the in between time, the journey from here to there. There will be deep soul diving, tools for transitioning, and lots of love and support to help you "in the meantime." 

I believe the "meantime" is a sacred place that we're all too in a hurry to get out of. The juicy middle is where we polish our spirits, where we learn, where we find clarity. Be still or keep walking - it's all part of the sacred middle.

It’s hard coming back to “the daily grind” after spending a week in tropical paradise. Last week I was in Chacala, Mexico with my boyfriend at a Nia retreat. Life was so easy there; I lived barefoot and in a bathing suit, spent afternoons in a hammock, read books by the pool, splashed ocean water on my face every day, ate homemade meals. Every morning was spent drinking coffee by the sea and dancing, every evening watching the sunset dip beneath the waves.

It was hard coming back to grocery shopping, dish washing, and wearing shoes! This morning on my drive to work I made a conscious effort to think positively about going back to the job. It’s not where I want to spend my days and the work isn’t invigorating, but this job, any job can be thought of as a vessel that gets us to the next island – the one we want to live, work, and play on. A journey requires a mode of transportation; my journey is to do the work I feel is my life’s purpose and be able to sustain myself without a day job. Maybe that’s your dream too, and maybe you feel stuck like there’s no getting to that place of freedom, but it’s there and it’s within reach. So let’s sail this vessel we call our day job to that beautiful island of dreams.

It won’t be long now :)

Poetry is everywhere: in the milk & honey flame of a candle, in the coffee with the heart-shaped foam, in the way the ceiling fan hums and hisses as it spins on a summer day. Poetry can be captured in words, photos, paint, dance, or simply in the palm of your hand. Your life is poetry in motion. 

How will you become the poem? How will your days drip with delight? 

Notice the small things. 

Do one thing you love every day. 

Acknowledge that you are sacred, and when you are afraid, draw from that sacred power inside you. 

Collect fossils from dried up creek beds. 

Hug a tree. Do you hear its heart beat? 

Connect with your inner artist, your inner child, your inner forgotten thing. 

Write poetry, live poetry, love all the invisible words swirling through your hair.

 

I want to gush about someone who has become my mentor and a dear angel guide on my journey through spirituality, business, health, creativity, and mucho positive living. Her name is Leonie Dawson and I know I've mentioned her before in posts about the Goddess Year Workbook and inspiring things I've read in her blog. I love love love interacting with people passionate about what they do. I love seeing their face light up and a smile permanently plastered from ear to ear. That kind of spirit is infectious and that's what I love about Leonie. 

I would never ever suggest a person or product that I didn't invest in myself and believe in 100%. Life's too short to give away time and money to here today gone tomorrow offers. I want to give a shout out to Leonie because she's doing so much good for women everywhere - helping us create gorgeous and profitable businesses, sharing radiant recipes for awesome health, clearing creative blocks, offering meditations and guides for a beautiful life. 

What I love most is that she started where I am and created her dream life. She worked in an office and dreamt of working for herself, creating art and writing, living and working wherever her heart called her to. And it happened and now she's sharing all she's learned with us!

I've been part of the Goddess Circle for a year now and it's offered so much support and inspiration. If you're looking for a supportive group of women, a smorgasborg of e-courses, workbooks, meditations, and e-books, I highly recommend joining the Goddess Circle. The best part is is that if you sign up before July you get all of the goodies for $99 a year. After this month, the price goes up to $199. Plus, if you sign up this month, you lock in the $99 price from now until eternity! That's pretty generous :)

Leonie truly is an angel guide and I'm so so glad I was introduced to her goddess corner of the web. Come join us! You'll be welcomed with open arms and showered with gifts! 

I just read Leonie's recent post about her dreams coming true and how in the beginning she didn't feel like she deserved the absolute best. By the end of the blog post my heart was in a flutter because I realized that I've felt that same way, and I'm sure many of us go through life with that feeling and not ever realize it.

And now, to bare my soul...

For me, I think it stems from family and religion and depression and a whole mix of other things. My family loves me of course and did the best they could, but we all have those deep-seeded thoughts our parents passed along. Money issues were a big thing for my family. Never enough. Always struggling. Making ends meet. So of course I grew up thinking along those lines. No one can make money doing anything they love. You have to go through the daily grind to survive. Put in your time. Just keep your head above water. 

I know now that's not true. Money is only evil if you allow it to be. Money can only control you if you're willing to let it. Work doesn't have to be hard. Life doesn't have to be hard. Money is an exchange of energy and it's okay to make an abundance of it. But when you put up this block that says you don't deserve to make the kind of money to support the life you want, you sabotage your ability to bring in that abundance. 

Deep, deep down I thought I had to struggle and make ends meet like my parents did. Even when my spirit was aching to take a different path I thought, no, this is how it has to be. You grow up, get a job (whatever you can find) and pay bills. That's it. But then, three years ago I met my wise boyfriend and came in contact with a lot of other wise, free thinkers who peeled open my eyes and said, that's not it. Money isn't the drive - purpose and passion is. Being happy is. 

And then there's that old-time religion. First, let me say that I consider myself a Christian, but I feel like the true essence of Christianity has been lost. I don't regret growing up in the church, but I feel like what was ingrained in me was that I was not good enough. The focus of Jesus' death was not because he loved us, but because we weren't good enough. For a long, long time I was convinced that I didn't deserve love or happiness or any good thing in life because I was a sinner and disappointed God on a daily basis. 

My dad gave me a little sailboat one year with Jeremiah 29:11 engraved on it:

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  

My thinking shifted a little then, but I still had a hard time accepting happiness. I thought, I don't blame God for the bad stuff that happens to me. I'm a horrible person. And I was so afraid to be happy because God would see it and take something away to teach me a lesson. Crazy thinking, I know. And the deep depression that started at age 17 didn't help matters. Who did I think I was? No use being happy when only sadness would follow.

I haven't been to church in a long time. Not because I believe it's a bad place, but because I've never felt comfortable in any that I've tried. It's always the same message and I don't feel lifted up, inspired, or loved once I leave the pew. Jesus wasn't about organized religion or church or formalities. He was about living life and giving all the love he could give. How could a person like that not want happiness for me? When I studied Jesus more, the thoughts I once believed slowly faded. So maybe I mess up now and then, but I deserve happiness and love and God wants that for me too. Why? Because he loves me. And why would someone who loves me want me to be miserable?

The point of this long soul baring session is that you and I deserve to be abundantly happy. We don't have to struggle or settle for the okay job, the okay house, the okay city. We deserve the best and if we're living any smaller than the best, it's time to leap. I constantly envision myself at 80 years old looking back on my life and wondering, did I live my best life? Dreams don't have to be just dreams. If you're not living your dreams today, know that without a doubt, they're on their way. You deserve happiness and love and the best life possible. Forget all the negativity, forget all the naysayers, forget society's rules. Forget that you have to play a certain game and walk a certain path. It doesn't matter what's been done before. If it's not working for you, change it! 

We deserve to live a beautiful life. Let's go get it.

The neighborhood I live in smells like honeysuckle and jasmine and fresh laundry. I just took the dog for a walk and noticed all the delicious smells. And finally, the cicadas have given the birds their chance to sing. Although I love the sound of cicadas - they remind me of long, hot summer nights spent running around outside with friends, catching fireflies and playing hide and seek. 

It's been a great weekend. On Friday I chopped off my hair, and man, I feel good. So freeing! I must have cut off 8-10 inches. Yup, I said bye-bye to the long, limp locks and hello to the short, sassy bob :)

On Saturday I had a sushi lunch with a dear friend I had not talked with in awhile. Later in the evening Jason and I met up with friends to watch our home basketball team (go Spurs!) unfortunately get whipped by Oklahoma. They're 2 and 2 now so we still have a chance. Gotta love good friends, a few drinks, and a basketball game on a hot June night.

Today has mostly been a catch-up day. You know, laundry, grocery shopping...I bought a bounty of fresh veggies and fruits for the coming week. I had my fair share of junk food this weekend, so it's time to shape up!

Wherever you are, I hope your Sunday and the days to follow are blissful and smile worthy :)

This beautiful flower is growing in my boyfriend's mom's garden. Although the flowers that surround it (candy pink, sunburst orange) are really quite extraordinary, they don't compare with this one. I've never seen a pattern quite like it. It's as if a little sun bloomed inside and pressed the petals open.

Memorial Day weekend proved to be quiet and relaxing. Saturday was spent in the country near the river. My boyfriend and his family floated down the Guadalupe, maybe one of the last times of the season before it gets too dry and the rocks peek their heads up from underneath. I stayed behind; the last time I floated the river I found myself crashing in to people and rocks and trees and didn't get much enjoyment out of it. So I relaxed by the pool, sunbathed on and off (with sunblock of course), and read Rumi poetry and The Sound of Paper by Julie Cameron. It was a beautiful day with the sky a pale blue, and although a teeny bit hot, there was a nice breeze. And the cicadas! They were out in full force practically drowning out any bird song. 

Sunday was recoup from the sun day (ha!). Even the dog was pooped and crashed out for most of the afternoon.

Memorial Day was spent at a friend's house grilling burgers and playing games. I had a homemade Mediterranean turkey burger. Ingredients: ground turkey meat, dried cranberries, low fat feta cheese, and garlic. You can find the recipe here. I left out the spinach and skipped the egg whites.

Speaking of food, wanna know what I've been eating on the Tone It Up nutrition plan?

From my journal: May 18, 2012

I have loved myself today, my body, my bravery, proud of how far I've come.

I can drive around the city without using the GPS. I can speak my opinion and share ideas. I can love my muscular legs even though they're hard to squeeze into tiny shorts. 

I have grown so much, been courageous, loved, used my voice, stood on my own two feet, healed, and risen above insecurities because I am wonderfully made and worth it.

And I'm still learning, still growing, still walking the desert, but I'm not lost or confused like I thought I was. I'm here to walk the desert with others, be a leader. Yes, I'm quiet and shy, but I'm also a Leo and I'm here for something big. God has placed me here to bring beauty to the desert. If we must walk through it we might as well enjoy the journey.

The last time a big shift happened in my life was three years ago. I felt it coming. There were many nights in bed when I thought, enjoy this steadiness because it's about to quake. And it did in the spring of 2009 when my boyfriend of almost five years said adios out of the blue. That little earthquake hurt like hell, but as we all know, life has a way of shifting in the right direction. 

So I moved back to my home state of Texas from Tennessee and started a new life on my own. Three months later I met the man I'm still deeply in love with three years later. Now we have a little home and a little dog and things are just peachy. Except...

I feel the shift coming again, but I'm not afraid. This little quake will be different; there's a bubbling of excitement behind it. And every time I start feeling down about my j-o-b and my life purpose and all that, I hear, keep holding on. The door's about to swing open. 

I won't even try to guess what it's all about, but it's good. I know it's good, even if just a little frightening. Life quakes always make us stumble a little bit, but that's how we learn to dance, no?

So I'm holding on, shaking my tail feathers, and waiting for the next big adventure.