From my journal: May 18, 2012

I have loved myself today, my body, my bravery, proud of how far I've come.

I can drive around the city without using the GPS. I can speak my opinion and share ideas. I can love my muscular legs even though they're hard to squeeze into tiny shorts. 

I have grown so much, been courageous, loved, used my voice, stood on my own two feet, healed, and risen above insecurities because I am wonderfully made and worth it.

And I'm still learning, still growing, still walking the desert, but I'm not lost or confused like I thought I was. I'm here to walk the desert with others, be a leader. Yes, I'm quiet and shy, but I'm also a Leo and I'm here for something big. God has placed me here to bring beauty to the desert. If we must walk through it we might as well enjoy the journey.

The last time a big shift happened in my life was three years ago. I felt it coming. There were many nights in bed when I thought, enjoy this steadiness because it's about to quake. And it did in the spring of 2009 when my boyfriend of almost five years said adios out of the blue. That little earthquake hurt like hell, but as we all know, life has a way of shifting in the right direction. 

So I moved back to my home state of Texas from Tennessee and started a new life on my own. Three months later I met the man I'm still deeply in love with three years later. Now we have a little home and a little dog and things are just peachy. Except...

I feel the shift coming again, but I'm not afraid. This little quake will be different; there's a bubbling of excitement behind it. And every time I start feeling down about my j-o-b and my life purpose and all that, I hear, keep holding on. The door's about to swing open. 

I won't even try to guess what it's all about, but it's good. I know it's good, even if just a little frightening. Life quakes always make us stumble a little bit, but that's how we learn to dance, no?

So I'm holding on, shaking my tail feathers, and waiting for the next big adventure. 

Suzi Blu says I can paint too!!

Ever since I saw Suzi's work in Art Saves, I've been obsessed. Those little doll faces, those colors! So of course I bought her brand spankin' new book Mixed Media Girls that shows you step-by-step how to create mixed media paintings like hers. I'm all about step-by-step because I can't draw to save my life. But thanks to Suzi, I'm learning!

I've always loved mixed media, but never incorporated my own drawing or painting, especially people because they always end up looking a bit wonky. So I'm pretty proud of this first attempt. The book even shows you how to shade and draw a nose. Total gold for a beginner like me. I can't wait to paint more pretty girls. Thank you, Suzi!

What does being in love with your life look like?

Write yourself a love letter today. A big, fat, juicy, succulent love letter. Then write one to the universe.

How does it feel to be so in love?

The star dreamer in you
wants to climb the sky.
She says, "Make me wings
from Saturn's rings
and I shall fly to the moon
and plant a seed."
It's a dream seed.
The one in your heart.

I sign up for a lot of free webinars/teleseminars and never attend. Sometimes because the timing is off and other times because I just plain forget. I signed up for the Trailblazing webinar last week thinking the same thing would happen, but it didn't, and I'm so glad.

For so so long I've had a deep desire to share my gifts with the world. I've known I'm meant for more than the standard office job, but have not been able to figure out how to get from here to there. "There" being that succulent place of meaningful work and life-purpose living and dream making. So I dabble in a little bit of this and a little bit of that, but lose focus or get bored or the fear comes rising up.

I wrote in my journal last night that my head feels so cloudy. I know what I want to do, but I don't. I feel like I've been walking the road for a long time and all of a sudden I look up and realize I'm not on any road anymore - just the vast desert and the wind's blowing and getting sand in my eyes. I said a prayer for guidance, even just a little bit. What I heard was, "Keep walking." Not exactly what I wanted to hear, but I made a note of the advice trusting that it's exactly what I need to do.

I logged on to the webinar, which was like a total smack on the head. Jonathan (Trailblazing founder) talked about blazing your own trail, creating your own path, moving away from the template and what everyone else is doing. Yes! That's exactly what I needed to hear. I've been trying to copy other people's success stories when all along I should have been creating my own.

After the webinar I realized what "keep walking" really means. I may be in the desert without a path in sight, but if I keep walking I create the path. 

Hallelujah! 

So week one of the Tone It Up nutrition plan is marked off the calendar. I kick started the plan by diving into the Beach Babe 5 day slim down to detox and get rid of excess water weight. The plan was super easy to follow and all the meals were delicious. Lots of smoothies and coconut water and Greek yogurt with fruit. I especially loved the garlic shrimp dish I had for dinner one night.

One thing I learned is that it's freaking hard to get up early in the morning to work out. I managed to do it three times during the week and on the other days doubled up my workouts to include cardio and toning. 

I can't tell you if I've lost inches because I totally forgot to take my measurements this morning, but I didn't feel bloated or sluggish one time last week, which is amazing. I'm drinking half of my body weight (in oz.) in water too, so my skin looks so much fresher! 

As for weight loss, I'm not so much focused on that because I'm not trying to lose. I don't even own a scale. I just really want to gain some muscle and tighten everything up.

This week I start the regular meal plan which includes yummy vegetarian dishes (tofu tonight!), wraps, salads, pancakes (lots of em), smoothies, and much more. I've already had strawberry pancakes this morning and now sipping on a fruit and protein smoothie. 

Yum!

Hello gorgeous souls! 

Let's talk about goal setting. 

Goals are the pathway to the garden of abundance.

It's true! When we set goals for ourselves, we're more likely to get what it is we want. I'm setting goals right now to become more fit. I write them down, make vision boards, imagine the end result. These can all be a part of goal setting and achieving your dreams.

What is it that you want to do? Change careers? Write a book? Lose 10 pounds? Learn French? Clean out your closet? These are all totally achievable and much easier to accomplish when you put them in goal form.

I love Sark's micro-movement technique; it's especially helpful for those of us who are a bit on the lazy side (*raises hand*). Even the dullest of goals can get accomplished by setting up tiny, tiny tasks. Need to clean out the fridge, but dread every moment of it? Create your tiny (5 minute) goals and take it one step at a time. Your goal list might start with "9 a.m. -open fridge." After that, you can choose to take the next step or wait for the allotted time. "9:05 a.m. - take out one expired item and throw away." Easy! It works for the really big goals too. It might take a bit longer, but it'll get done!

If micro-movements aren't the best way for you, you can always have a bigger picture goal list:

In 3 months I want to...
6 months...
1 year...

and then break it down to smaller goals. What can you do now? 

In 8 weeks I want to have lost a few inches and toned up. What can I do now? 
*follow the Tone It Up nutrition & fitness plan
*work out twice a day
*only eat lean, green, and clean foods

I can break it down even further...
*Week 1: follow the 5 day slim down menu 
*week 2: start the regular nutrition plan and workout guide

And even further!
*Day 1
*Day 2

You get the picture :)

Our big, and even little dreams can seem so overwhelming when we look at them without a guide, but break them down, put one foot in front of the other, and you'll be opening the gate to your abundant life in no time.

On Monday, April 16th I'll be starting the Tone It Up nutrition plan.

Over the past year I've noticed some changes in my body. Maybe it's because I'm four months away from turning 30 or maybe I don't work out enough. Who knows. I do eat healthy and try to incorporate as many raw, fresh foods as possible into my diet, and although I am able to maintain an appropriate weight for my height, I've lost muscle definition and there is some jiggly where there was never jiggly before. 

The Tone It Up girls, Karena and Katrina have created a nutrition plan that focuses on what you eat and when you eat it. Exercise is incorporated too, of course. They suggest waking up 35 minutes early to get in some cardio; that's going to be tough for me! I've never been a morning person, but we'll see how it goes. If not, I'll still get in my cardio and toning sessions after work.

So this is my official accountability post. It's my goal to lose inches around my legs (which have never been the same since leaving the ballet world) and gain back the muscle I once had. Also, love handles be gone!

Join me throughout the week for updates on how it's going and if you're interested in doing it yourself, visit Tone It Up Diet for more information. I look forward to (and somewhat nervous about) the journey!

Current obsessions:

Lucky Bitch by Denise Duffield-Thomas; the Tone It Up girls; surfer-girl hair; anything that smells like coconut; coconut water; clip-in hair feathers; turquoise; smoothies; this makeup set; daydreaming & brainstorming; serendipitous book shopping; new hairstyles; Nia; yummy fresh food; spring time; wildflowers; trying new recipes; reggae.